Monday, May 2, 2016

Week 18: A Letter to my Younger Self


Welcome Back to Week 18 of the 52 Week Blogger Challenge
So, I have seen a lot of people do A Letter To... my younger self, my child, my husband, etc. I couldn't tell you where it originated but I love it!

I am going to write a letter to my younger self.

Last year, I did a three part series of my Adoption Story. In the first part, I mentioned that when I was younger, I was sometimes embarrassed of the fact that I was adopted. I also said that If I could write a letter to my younger self I would tell myself to kick those feelings to the curb so, here is my chance!

Hey there, Sarah. 
You are in fifth grade now! Only one more year to go until you are in middle school. You have already overcome a lot this year. You switched home rooms and class schedules-yikes. You dealt with the fear and terror of the possibility of your dad being in one of the 911 planes-thankfully he was not. and well, you are dealing with bullies. 

Bullies suck. They really do but, you will learn in a few years that their words mean nothing. I know that you don't understand that now but, believe me, they insult you because they are insecure about themselves. Do yourself a favor and listen to what they are saying. Are their empty words hurtful? Yes, yes they are. But they are also irrelevant and quite honestly, stupid. These nasty Regina George (you will learn about her later too) wanna be's don't even know what they are talking about. 

For the sake of this not coming back to bite you, we will call the nasty group of girls the Mean Girls with the leader of the pack being Regina. You try to cover up the fact that you are adopted. It isn't easily done since your parents are white and you are brown so, you just don't really talk about it. 

So, Regina says horrible things like your mom works for her family? Well honey, she thinks she is being 'clever' and making a racial joke since your skin is brown and she is stuck in the past. Little does she know that your mom is a Nurse. She says that you are dirty and never take a bath because your skin is brown. Hold your head up girl. You will see in a few years that she does anything and everything to try to get darker skin. She will spend $$$$ at a tanning booth just trying to get darker skin. She says you live in a shack. I know you aren't a bully so you won't use this against her but you will learn that in a few years, her family will loose their water front home and have to move into an apartment complex. 

Regina's pack of wolves may trip you intentionally or gossip about you. You will be the only one in your grade to not get invited to one of their birthday parties but your dad will make it up to you. You will have the most fun weekend with him. And besides, why would you want to be at her lame pink and black zebra themed party anyways? 

Basically, they are no better than you. There are things in their lives that are upsetting or hurting them so they deal with it by finding someone to bully. It isn't right. But they will all get reality checks soon. Until then, keep getting good grades and be proud of who you are. Your parents are forever proud of you. Don't be ashamed of the different type of family you have. Your family is beautiful and you will learn this again soon when the local paper wants to photograph you for "overcoming the racial stigma"-note: don't wear that purple dress you will think you want to wear. 

You will go on to do great things. I would tell you everything but, I don't want to ruin it for you. So until your next hard time. 

-the older, wiser you. 

so, no joke, this was shockingly hard to write. it is all true. there was a pack of nasty girls that went out of their way to try to bring me down. and it worked for the longest time. I finally found a solid group of friends and they got bored failing at trying to break me. bullying is something I am so passionate about because I have been there and it sucks. these girls made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed of my beyond amazing parents adopting me. however, I think it made me a more focused and stronger person.

Also, I know that the "Regina" in this story is not in a good place in life now. I also know that she reads my blogs/follows me on social media. So sweetheart, this one was for you. Thank you for in the end making me better and not bitter! 



8 comments :

  1. Oh my goodness. All the tears. I just love how you've overcome that though and it made you such a stronger person. Your parents are definitely blessings, after all, they chose you! Middle school is a hard enough time in anyone's life but then to add bullying to it all would be heartbreaking. I'm lucky enough that I really never dealt with that and my son, who is in middle school now, really hasn't either. As sad as it is that you went through that, you came out on top. Look at you now girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bet this was hard to write but I am so proud of you! I know writing the hard posts aren't our favorite but I feel like I know you so much better! Bullying is an awful thing and I hate that kids are still having to deal with bullies and that some people feel the need to bully other people, it is just sad. Although I wish you never had to endure all the mean words the mean girls said to you it helped shape you into a strong person!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that. You have such a beautiful story in the end and a wonderful life. Props to you for sharing this and being the bigger person. Sending love your way!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I cannot believe that kids can be that cruel. You said it so well, "thanks for making me better and not bitter". You're a much stronger person for having gone through that. Thank you for sharing your story!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate how mean people can be! I love your letter to your younger self and think "Regina" probably regrets her childhood actions.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sarah, you are fabulous and I love your story. I cant say i didnt shed a tear reading this because I dd :(
    I am working on a project on my website and would love to feature you and your story. Let me know if you are keen :)
    http://www.ireview.global

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love this letter! There are A LOT of things I would tell me younger self!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love this! Not because you got bullied but because in the end your "regina" got her butt kicked (not in the literal since). Good for you for being amazing!!! Keep "shaking it off".

    ReplyDelete

Hi! I am so glad to see you here! Please feel free to leave a comment or email me directly! Make sure you are not a no reply blogger.