Where I Stand, As a Mama


Hey mamas!

today is all about where I stand as a mama on the more controversial topics. I constantly get asked where I stand on the issues that will be listed below and honestly, I didn't really want to write about them as it feel like it just opens the door for mom shaming BUT, my most recent post found here will hopefully squash the mom shaming around here and in my personal friend groups.

before really diving in, I will say that I am not looking for "critiques" on how I choose to parent. I wish and hope that all mamas will make educated and informed decisions for their littles based on what they feel is best.

how to give birth: whatever makes mama most comfortable and keeps baby the safest. Noah was a traditional v-bac and I did opt in for an epidural. for the hopeful baby #2 I think I would try to skip the epidural NOT because I had a bad experience but because I think I am strong enough to labor without one.

discipline: Noah is only 16 months old so we are still in the early stages of 'discipline' however, being that I am a former preschool teacher, I do believe and preach redirection in almost every case. that is not to say that I am above a spanking from time to time. I am absolutely against screaming and yelling, threats, physical abuse and delayed punishment (ie: "wait until we get home and you will get a spanking/we will talk about this later/etc) because at such young ages, if it is not dealt with at the time it happens they don't understand what they are being punished for hours later. I believe that it is customary by US standards to focus on punishing rather than teaching self control. discipline should not be about forcing a child to do what you want but more so about how to regulate their own behavior.

no winning in competition: even though I am a millennial, I do not agree with the participation trophy mentality. I do not think that everything needs to be a competition or that my child needs to win everything he does but I do think that a healthy amount of competition amongst friends and teammates is healthy and builds character.

cosleeping:give me all the snuggles alllll night. so I am 100% for co sleeping. however Noah does go to sleep in his own room in his crib. This started at about 13 months. If he wakes throughout the night though and can not go back to sleep after a bottle/rubbing his back I bring him into bed with me.

child leashes: whether I am walking down the aisles of target, in disney or in my back yard, no. I am a hard no on kid leashes. I think that I should be able to teach Noah to stay by me and hold hands at all times.

gender neutrality: I feel that children should be raised as they are born physically until they are old enough to understand the concept of gender. I understand that this can be as early as 3-4years old for some. but once that time comes, again, with informed decisions, I would say it could be discussed.

breastfeeding vs. formula feeding: just feed the baby

medicating for illness: I am not one to rush to over the counter or prescription meds so I try to exhaust every option for Noah first. If I know his teeth are hurting and causing a fever I will try too cool him with a bath or cool towels, cut up frozen fruit for him to chew on, etc. however if he is still in pain and uncomfortable, we will space out motrin

vaccinating: I am a vaxxer but I do not allow mega vaccines. this means that when he is due for 4 shots, I need to see four separate vials. I also usually space them out so I will go one day for two and a few days later for the next two. so he is still on track with his vaccines but his little body can have a few days in between to recover.

solids before 6 months: yes! we started Noah at 4 months with purees. every baby is different but he was able to sit mostly unassisted, definitely interested in food and did not have any gagging/swallowing issues.

extended breastfeeding: more power to ya mama! I couldn't do it but I do applaud those who can.

screen time: I am pretty against screen time for Noah. again, back to preschool teacher me, I just hate seeing toddler zombies. I am so lucky to be able to stay home with Noah for the most part so I want to cherish those moments by having him read and learn with me, not being zoned into cartoons. I wills ay though that if he is ever sick and we are having a snuggle in bed day, a little disney movie education here and there isn't awful

spoiling your kids: words to live by: children aren't spoiled unless they start stinking. this means that as long as he is grateful and acknowledges the things he has and is given, material or not, it isn't spoiling.

raising a religious child: this is something I really go back and forth with as it is something i have struggled with my whole life. growing up from birth to 8 my family would frequent church on weekends and holidays. we didn't preach it at home but we did have an understanding of God and the bible. I feel like I want Noah to have the same understanding but I want him to decide how much of an influence he wants it to have in his life.

crying it out: I am not a fan of the CIO method. I didn't put Noah in his crib for the night until he was ready. leading up to him being ready, I would put him in for as long as he would allow me but at first cry, I would pick him up and move him in with me.

toddler nutrition: everything in moderation-to some extent. we allow Noah to eat everything that we eat. he is a super easy going little and enjoys mostly everything. the only things that I try to avoid are overly processed foods, hot dogs/bacon (nitrates/nitrites), and juices. other than that, everything is fair game.


these are the 16 "most controversial" subjects I could think up. what are some controversial topics you have come across? where do you stand?

Comments

  1. I have no kids (yet) but we are on the same page with a lot of these (at least until I have my own kid and then the leash for instance looks less awful to me hehe - I never say never)

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    Replies
    1. Haha yes I will definitely say that there are a ton of things I do now that I said I'd NEVER do before Noah!

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